Turning 18; grief again, but with new resolve
This is the first of my vlogs, and in the interest of keeping it short I thought I’d add a little more to the message. I think grief is an important part of our journey with any disabled loved one. For me, allowing myself to grieve then allows me to gain renewed strength to face the next challenge. When my son’s guardianship hearing took place last week, I was told I didn’t need to be there because it would be cut & dry; the process was quick an uneventful. But I went anyway, because they were talking about my son. I didn’t want to just blow it off like it was no big deal. I was proud of myself for doing that. If I hadn’t, I think guilt would have lingered and drained me of strength. We all handle grief in different ways, but to deny it altogether is unhealthy and I hope that by discussing it here, others will feel good about doing the same.
Not a bad way to start a day, quality blog post
Well said, Kristen. I know you well and you should hold your head high.
Mike, it’s interesting because when you live it you don’t think about it until a major event takes place; then it can be as painful as the first time you knew. Just when you think you’ve pushed past it. It’s what you do to handle that pain that’s important; it will happen, there’s just no avoiding it. I think that’s what accounts in part for the divorce rate among people raising a child with a disability – being unprepared for those lows.
Your video rings true for me. Grief never seems to end for parents of children with special needs. Sometimes I feel numb to it and other times it takes ahold of me in a way I did not expect and pushes me low to the ground. I have grieved the missing milestones and the multiple transitions/placements in my son’s life but what keeps me going is knowing that I have provided him with the best that life and me as a parent has to offer. Cheryl, thank you for sharing such a powerful message!
This is powerful- I’ve read and heard about “chronic sorrow” but never seen these emotions expressed